Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Commander vs. Spy

      Space vs. Earth; Squad vs. Lone Wolf; Who the fuck knows? They seem the fucking same; I'm talking about Mass Effect and Alpha Protocol. Yeah, well, I've finished Alpha Protocol recently and frankly, I see absolutely no major difference between them. I mean come on, has anyone REALLY looked at Default Shepard and Thorton? Seriously? Come on, I can't be the only one to have noticed this.

      Though this could be due to my case of slight psychosis.

      So, apparently after the first few seconds into Alpha Protocol, my mind instantly splurted 3 words. One of them was "Vagina" but that has no connection to this review; and the other two were: "Mass Effect?" Notice the "?". I wasn't even sure what to think of it. The graphics didn't really impress me. I've seen the engine on Mass Effect back in '07 AND Mass Effect 2 a couple of months before Alpha Protocol. So, I ask you, readers, what in the flying fuck attracted you to this game like flies on shit? Graphics? Clearly not, I mean, it's not a breakthrough in graphics engines; Was it the whole "UNIQUE Espionage" theme? Jesus fuck, HERE's espionage: Project I.G.I, Syphon Filter, EVEN FUCKING SPLINTER CELL! So no, the espionage trick didn't work out as briliantly as Obsidian Entertainment had hoped.

      So? What the fuck was it? I'll tell ya'. It was the same fucking thing that also drove me to it: THE STORY. The compelling, well told, intricate and intoxicating story. We couldn't get enough of it. We wanted to know how it would work out in the end. We wanted to see it through no matter what. I did, and I'm fucking satisfied. Though, I wanted to save at least ONE female character. Instead, I ended up with fucking STEVE... Err, sorry, STEVEN.


      But despite the fact that Mass Effect and Alpha Protocol are alike (I mean, fuck, Shepard and Thorton RAN like they were fucking twins... It's like Forest Gump and The Guy Who Saved Private Ryan; Literally, the sarge, or whatever), both games were equally enjoyable, and hell, the stories were superbly told through dialogue, though a little bit too movie-like.
      All in all, I recommend these two jewels if you haven't tried them already. Bioware and Obsidian Entertainment did WONDERS. The Mass Effect series and Alpha Protocol are the proof.

Fun will definitely ensue, TRUST ME.

      Also, from today on, I will be supplying 2 wallpapers daily. YAAY!

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Tears for the Old

      I sincerely did NOT think I would actually get to play it again... One of the grandfathers of modern-day RPGs; Chosen by gamers worldwide for being the best written RPG EVER; my favorite oldie but goldie: Planescape Torment.

      I reluctantly picked it up yesterday, having felt the need to play something ACTUALLY worth my time and concentration. After grabbing the boxset with the 4 discs, I made myself a hot cup of cocoa and grabbed some muffins (I fucking love muffins). Then, after quickly installing it, I nervously proceeded double clicking the icon. After the barely recognizable publisher and producer intros, finally came the game intro, which almost made me shed a tear of joy, rewatching it after so long; shreds of The Nameless One's memories slowly being corrupted, all in a poorly rendered (but extravagant at that time) video from first person view. After the intro, I was technically speechless. Why haven't I thought of this before? Why didn't I fucking install it sooner?! Meh, I have it now, so that's as good as it gets, I guess. Anyhow, this is a game where you have to read A LOT to really get into the story. I have, and I didn't regret it. TRUST ME.

      So, basically, in the first few minutes of the game, I just grinned like a fucktard while playing. Couldn't help but let the joy escape through the shape of my mouth. The slightly pixelated graphics seemed to conjoin with the game's atmosphere surprisingly well. The opened up carcasses, half-dissected people, covered up bodies, and zombie workers -who were just lumbering around- were all laid out perfectly into the 2-dimensional level.
      Now, the characters are actually controlled from an isometric perspective, so the world may sometimes seem confusing, but that's only until you rememeber to look at the map; there, it shows you every exit and every mini-area that is inside the main loaded area, making confusion retreat like a motherfucker. What is actuallty more surprising is the variation of NPCs (Non-Playable Characters, you douche) and PCs (President of Columbia... No, silly, Playable Characters); they're ALL technically different; be it the colors of their clothes, be it some beanies or scarves or even armor. The world seems extravagantly rich in characters.

      Another strong point of this wonderful game is the voice acting. Oh God, I just fucking LOVE Morte's snappy remarks and zombie-flirting. After all, Planescape Torment was nominated AND won (only in the eyes of gamers, of course) the "Best Sound Award" in a game; EVER. When you were in a crowded street, it actually SOUNDED like a crowded street. So, go figure.
      All in all, if you guys like old-school AD&D games, Wizards of the Coast, or just a deliciously good story, I suggest you make time and fucking buy it. It's definitely gonna' be in the bargain bin, though it outweighs a LOT of today's junk.
      Also, today I am in high spirits, so Imma' dumpin' 3 wallpapers. Enjoy.

Friday, October 1, 2010

First Blood!

        "The Earth - overrun by angels and demons alike - engaged in a war that would shake the very foundation of existence; and the best soldier -but a mere pawn to the Council- was betrayed and stripped of his powers. Now, he must venture forth and find out wh-"
          Fuck you, War.

       I've picked up Darksiders a couple of days ago and thought "Jesus Christ, finally...". I've actually been waiting for this release to come out on P.C. since I've seen mere trailers of it when it was announced for them consoles. I thought "WHAT THE SHIT, CONSOLES GET THAT (seemingly) AWESOME GAME, AND PCs GET STUCK WITH SHIT LIKE MORE FIFA?!".
      Oh well, the gaming industry is as cruel as it is manipulative and money-hungry... Well, most of it, anyway.

      The first impression right after I entered the game was: "What the...? This is so easy." But then came the "taking away the powers" part and thought "Fuck." And with good reason. Now, unlike many of you, I preffer my games on HARD difficulty for the extra challenge and rage. But MY GOD, after 20 minutes in the game on HARD, I thought I was going to pop a vein in my temple. I rage-quitted, got a beer and restarted the game on NORMAL.
       Now call me a bad gamer, n00b and whatnot, but Jesus fucking Christ, even NORMAL difficulty seems like a rage-fest. Maybe it's just my anger problems, but I actually thought I'm going to have to let it go.
         Thank the Higher Power I didn't.

      This game is one of the best console-to-PC transitions EVER (for an action hack 'n' slash game, that is). Well, it's second only to Devil May Cry, but still, it's still an unpolished jewel... Not many people are really enthusiastic about it coming out on the PC... What in the flying fuck did you want then? Another motion picture game like Modern Warfare 2? (Now, I'm not dissing it, I actually liked it, and it was fine for a couple of hours... A COUPLE OF HOURS; i.e. TWO are enough, stop.)
      Now, the graphics in Darksiders are the usual for a console transition: better renders, smoother textures; all in all, given "The Works" to appear fresh and differentiated by its twin on the consoles; though almost no difference is perceived. The animation is fairly fluid, though War could use more facial expressions.

     Thus, I reach the end having to give AT LEAST one round of applause to this fine but unforgiving game. Trust me, DO NOT play it in hard mode. You will either off yourself, or smash your head against something fairly sturdy, which you don't want. Maybe?
               Also, here's some Haseo.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

For starters...

       Well holy hot damn... I have my own damn blog now! That's nice and all, but I'm no good with introductions and shit-tier mechanical small-talk. So I'll get right to the fucking point/s:

          1. NO, I DON'T do consoles, they give me eye cancer; except the PS3... That's the least retarded one of the three contenders (In case you're over 40 and/or retarded and don't know the other 2, there's the Xbox360 and the Nintendoh Wee).
          2. Don't bitch about the way I explain shit, or the swears. If you do, I'll just be busy not caring.
          3. TROLLS GTFO.

       There, I think that's everything. Heh, not bad for a first post.

        Also, I will be supplying a daily dosage of fine-ass wallpapers, so make sure t' get 'em, they're bad-ass, trust me.  (GAMING wallpapers of course; no porn here, brahs)